i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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