come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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