She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
