it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
one might say we're banned from that church
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
