The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
