what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
