After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's blow job season.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize