What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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