I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
