You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize