Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
