yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
