i permit you to call me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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