.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
