do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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