You made me cry and you don't even care
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
