bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
