Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we made out on top of his cat.
Sober January is a disaster.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
