on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize