Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
