I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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