you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
