I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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