Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
