Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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