Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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