never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize