I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
