yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
