ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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