operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
