I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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