absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
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who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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