so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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