We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
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