his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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