one two three fourrrrnication!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
