Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize