we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
