Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
