Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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