i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
