I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
