i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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