Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he puts the penis in happiness.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
