It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
