it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
