glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
