That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All the doctor said was why
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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