I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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