idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
