from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life