last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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