um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
