he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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