he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
