i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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