is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
True college students do jello shots in the library
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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