stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
