Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
