When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize