Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches