dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.