Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?