you would pick up someone in the library
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
