i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
