Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
