k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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