oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There r osticjed everywhere
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
