Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
