Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
